Hopelessly and Helplessly Worried
“Presently, am going through some hard times financially and emotionally. I made some bad investments earlier in the year that am just trying to sort out, may Allah help me. Also, am 28 and unmarried and am having difficulty getting a man with deen that would encourage me more. I was born a muslim but early this year I took my shahadah again and became more devoted IA though am not totally there yet but am striving and I pray not to backslide. All these things get me hopelessly n helplessly worried and I pray day and night but I also think I need a good muslim to talk to. I need advice and special dua. Pls assist me. Would appreciate ur response. I feel spiritually down often especially wen I do nothing more than to observe the five daily obligatory prayers. I want to be a good muslimah. JazakAllah Khairan!”
Peace be unto you. All praise is to Allah alone. We seek His guidance and seek His forgiveness. What you are going through is, what many of us go through on a daily basis. One of the greatest tricks of the Sheytan is making you think you are alone, and the only one experiencing what you are. I have news for you, you’re not. I’m sure many brothers and sisters can relate. Your ability to reach out for help is a sign of faith, or imaan. It means you want to become better in your practice of this beautiful faith.
قُلْ يَا عِبَادِيَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا عَلَى أَنفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا مِن رَّحْمَةِ اللَّهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ SAY: “[Thus speaks God:] ‘O you servants of Mine who have transgressed against your own selves! Despair not of God’s mercy: behold, God forgives all sins – for, verily, He alone is much-forgiving, a dispenser of grace!’ ” (39:53)
We should leave the past in the past. Forget past mistakes. Forget past sins. Forget bad investments. Leave them in the past. Start anew, starting today. We all feel like hypocrites from time to time. You should begin to worry when you don’t feel like one. It is inhuman and impossible to retain a high level of spirituality, faith and awareness of Allah and these things will naturally fluctuate in a person. The reason the heart is called ‘qalb‘ in Arabic is because qalb means ‘to flip and change’ and the condition of the heart is constantly flipping and changing. Even the Companions felt like this on occasions as is illustrated by an incident reported by Imam Muslim.
Once Sayyiduna Hanzalah رضى الله عنه was in the company of Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم, but when he left and returned home he became preoccupied with his family. He thought he had become a hypocrite so he went to complain of his condition to Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم. On the way he was shouting ”Hanzalah has become a munafiq (hypocrite), Hanzalah has become a munafiq.” He met Sayyiduna Abu Bakr رضى الله عنه to whom he related that when he was with Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم it was as though Jannat and Jahannam were before him, but the moment he returned home he became preoccupied with his family, thus he feared hypocrisy for himself. Sayyiduna Abu Bakr رضى الله عنه replied that he also felt the same way so they both approached Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم who comforted and informed them that such levels of imaan and spirituality are momentary and they do not last and that if they were to last the angels would have descended from the heavens and met them.
This incident illustrates that the level of faith in a person constantly fluctuates. When a low-level of faith, or imaan, is experienced or one feels an attack on one’s spirituality and faith by Sheytan and other influences a person shouldn’t withdraw, but rather seek the remedy by adopting good company or entering into a pious environment where mention is made of Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him). Even if this is not possible, one can listen to a talk at home or watch a lesson online. As a consequence, due to the blessings, one’s heart and faith will be strengthened, God willing. Even the Prophet (peace be upon him) would constantly pray, “O Transformer of the hearts, make my heart steadfast upon Your deen.” [Reported by Tirmidhi]. Moreover, backsliding is part of human nature. If it happened to the Companions of the Prophet (peace be upon him), it can happen to all of us. Work on understanding what you are reciting during your prayers. While in total submission and in Sujud, ask Allah to assist and guide your affairs. Put total trust in Him and be consistent. Focus on establishing your prayers and praying them on time. You are waging Jihad against your desires. You should expect the Sheytan to buckle up and try to deviate you from the Straight path. Be stubborn. Be steadfast. Be ready. And finally, regarding your issues with seeking marriage, don’t worry about it. Allah doesn’t always answer our pleas immediately. Sometimes, He tries you to see if you are sincere in your request. Be patient. Your future husband is out there right now. Stop looking for him, and perhaps, he will come find you. And Allah knows best.