Heart To Heart
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, “None of you is a believer until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself”. The first time I read this Hadith in one of my books, I began applying it to my life to whomever I met. It sounds pretty simple – don’t hate on others and just be happy when something good happens to someone. The reality is that it’s probably one of the hardest concepts for someone to comprehend and apply to their daily life and I unfortunately know this a little too well.
My sister and I had a double wedding in Pakistan back in 2005. To make a long story short, our wedding was one of the worst experiences we have ever had in our lives. We had very little family support from extended relatives, very few people were happy for us and the wedding was rather small and boring. To this day the feeling of how family treated us sticks to my sister and I; we claim we have moved on but every now and then, when we’re together, we talk about how it truly did affect us. I mean, doesn’t every girl want their wedding to be perfect?
It’s because of this experience that my sister and I started to adopt the above Hadith specifically when someone gets married. I personally made a promise to myself that when I am blessed enough to partake in someone’s happy day, I would never be miserable or annoyed at having to attend a wedding (you’d be surprised how many people don’t like attending weddings!).
Last year I was invited to my friend’s brother’s wedding and I personally thanked the groom’s mom and the couple for allowing me to partake in their happiness- they looked at me like I was crazy but I genuinely meant it. I make a point to greet everyone with smiles and Salaams because I know the feeling of just wanting people to be happy for you no matter what. When someone isn’t, it’s the most painful feeling. Because I wanted someone to be happy for me at my wedding and I didn’t receive that happiness, it’s now become my duty and obligation to make sure I am happy for them. And it’s not just weddings – babies, graduations, etc.
I have adopted this policy for all occasions.
When you’re not happy for a person it only hurts the people who are trying to share their happiness with loved ones and it takes away from their special moment. I was guilty of not being happy for a relative once, and it took about a year before relationships were fixed; it was a mistake I never want to repeat again. I’ve been called out on for being either super lovey dovey, obsessed with weddings/the concept of love when the truth is I’m really living by a Prophetic example. Didn’t the Prophet ﷺ love his family members that weren’t Muslim? Didn’t we see what jealousy did to Yousef (as) – he was separated from his father for years! It just all seems natural to me to be conscious of one’s behavior.
If you’ve been guilty of not being the most supportive person, start applying the above Hadith to your life. If someone you know gets a job promotion or buys a new car, don’t roll your eyes or become consumed with jealousy. Instead, say mashaAllah and make dua that they are successful. Your heart will definitely begin to soften and it will start to fill with love for those around you. Ignore those who might say you’re too positive and optimistic (I sure do!) and live your life with the desire to help others and be there for them. People will then begin to reciprocate, and the cycle of loving for your brother (or sister) will continue for years to come. Let’s revive this Sunnah today.
By: Miriam (MW Contributor)