Pefect Imperfection: Why Being Yourself Is Beautiful

You have no way of verifying this, but I’m an average looking girl (sorry, woman; I haven’t got to grips with the fact that I’m an adult now). However, I grew up in a Pakistani community which mistook my paleness for beauty, so I was fortunate enough to be told that I’m pretty and that I’m beautiful. Maybe that’s the reason why I’m sitting here, comfortable enough in my own skin, to be writing this blog.

You see, I hear people talk too often about how ugly they are and what they hate about themselves. I see too many girls plastered in so much makeup that it actually makes them worse than their natural face. And I just feel so bad for them. I know that probably makes me sound patronising, but honestly I just think it’s terrible that so many people are not comfortable in their own skin and actively try to change or hide so much. Or if they can’t change it they wallow in self-pity due to their “ugliness”.

I have a typically Pakistani, long nose, and I don’t want to swap my glasses for contacts because my glasses do just enough to not let the dark circles under my eyes dominate my appearance and currently I have an outbreak of spots because apparently my face is making up for the fact that I missed the spotty teenager stage. But I still am confident enough to go out in public makeup-less. Alhamdulillah.

I’m not telling anyone to not wear make up … in fact, I’d probably use it to cover my spots, if I didn’t fear looking like a clown, as I’ve never applied foundation on myself before. But I feel like too many people don’t accept and appreciate the beauty that Allah (swt) has given them … though I can understand why. Maybe they were too dark/skinny/fat for those around them so, unlike me, they didn’t grow up with votes of confidence. Maybe, it’s the bombardment of “beautiful” (read: photoshopped and unnatural) models and celebrities. Maybe, it’s society’s general attitude towards beauty and the construct of beauty that is sold to the masses. That same construct which only sees and sells beauty to the young and the fair and the stick thin, which doesn’t allow you to question why your natural self can’t be beautiful. Why do you need to put all these unnatural chemicals on your skin?

I can’t tell you what is and isn’t beautiful since “beauty lies in the eye of the beholder” but it’s important to try to switch off from the mainstream ideas for a bit, look away from all the digital images, and remind yourself that everyone looks different without all that make up and Photoshop. So what if you’re not *as* beautiful as *those* people. Different isn’t a synonym for ugly.

Allah created us in various shapes and sizes, He told us

“O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.”

[ Quran 49:13]

The Prophet (saw) told us that no Arab is superior to a non–Arab and vice versa. This ayah and the teaching of the Prophet (saw) should be a reminder of not only the obvious – that piety is what counts, but that it is *natural* for us to look different, to have different skin colour, face/eye/nose/body shape. So, how can we give in to a universal idea of beauty when it’s so unnatural for so many of us? Why do we need to bleach our skins or get fake tans when Allah made us perfectly? Why can’t we be happy with what we look like?

As I alluded to earlier, I do look in the mirror, see my flaws and think “urghh” or “I look horrible”, but Alhamdulillah it’s not a feeling that affects my self-esteem (say masha’Allah, thanks :p). Flaws are natural, humans are imperfect beings that will always seek perfection, so not liking your flaws is also natural, but I really hope everyone can accept those imperfections and accept they’re human instead of letting their appearance affect them so negatively.

And remember that our character adds to our beauty, so you’re better off putting your time, effort and money into trying to perfect your character instead of your God-given appearance.

Side note: looking decent and presentable and being healthy is from the Sunnah, so don’t completely let yourself go or anything!

By: @Yellow_Lellow (MW Contributor)

9 thoughts on “Pefect Imperfection: Why Being Yourself Is Beautiful”

  1. I love how honest this is; and none of it is false. It truly takes a blessed human being to write all of this in such a beautiful way. Thank you! May Allah (swt) bless you! Beauty is skin deep and Allah (swt) created us all, so we are all beautiful.

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  3. BEAUTIFUL is an understatement for this article,
    being pale and Pakistani, i can so relate to this article, whenever i tell others how we should feel comfortable in our skin tone , i get response such as ” Yeah you are pale that is why you are saying so ” . but if we really take about physical beauty i believe its beyond skin tone.

    Very well written !

    *Thumbs Up *

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  4. Wow! Love your piece. SubhanAllah people don’t realise how detrimental a nasty comment can be. The lasting effects are irreparable. We need to realise that Allah fashioned each of us in the best of forms and then Himself praises His creation, “Blessed be Allah the best of creators.” When we find flaws in others we are indirectly finding a flaw in ALLAH, na’udhu billah. Lastly I once read something very apt which I loved.
    “You will never look like the girl in the magazine, the girl in the magazine doesn’t even look like the girl in the magazine.”
    So whoever is reading this, just know that you are beautiful. 🙂

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    1. Thank you for reading and taking the time to reply – I like reading people’s thoughts 😀

      And you make very good points. If everyone remembered that insulting people means insulting Allah there would definitely be less insults thrown around. Love the magazine quote. 🙂

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  5. A very good post. I have a lot of flaws on my skin, mainly dark circles, and sometimes I find it so hard to not cover them up. One thing is the constant questions or comments of how tired I look that makes me want to pack on the concealer! It’s tricky because I want my daughter to also grow up knowing she doesn’t need makeup to look beautiful; she’s turning 8 and that’s a time where she’s changing. She’s growing out of the “baby” things and will start really discovering who she is. I do feel it’s ok in moderation too though. You got me thinking so much though!!! Beauty is definitely skin deep, that’s for sure.

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    1. Glad I’ve got you thinking haha.

      I think the best thing to do is just keep reassuring her and reminding her of both her beauty and the superficial images all around her. One of my cousin’s who is 11 has said stuff like “I’m look ugly” and she and her younger sister have worn make up at special occasions. But I’ve made a point of telling them that they don’t need make up. I know kids like feeling like grown ups by wearing it but I feel there’s a very thin line between that and thinking it actually makes them look better – no kid should think that.
      But yh, it’s all about being realistic and also focusing on character, good deeds etc- pointing out that is more important and looking beautiful is worthless if your personality is ugly.

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